The way the story unfolds is well-known. Jacob works for seven years for the right to marry Rachel, but Laban deceives him, and Jacob ends up being married to Leah, whom he does not love and does not want.

Imagine Leah’s humiliation when, on the morning after her wedding, her husband’s only response to discovering that she, rather than her sister, is his wife is an excruciating mix of outrage and disappointment.

Genesis tells us simply that Jacob “loved Rachel more than Leah” (29:30), but Leah wishes for something different: She names her first son Reuben, hoping “Now my husband will love me (Ye’ehevani/Reuven)” (29:32). Her second son, Simeon, proves that her hope with Reuben did not come to fruition: “This is because the Lord heard (Shama/Shimon) that I was unloved and has given me this one also” (29:33). Leah names her third son Levi, and declares: “This time my husband will become attached (Yilaveh/Levi) to me, for I have borne him three sons” (29:34). Still, nothing changes.

Leah bears a fourth son, and we wait for yet another expression of her sadness and desolation. But something else entirely occurs: “She conceived again and bore a son, and declared: ‘This time I will praise (odeh) the Lord.’ Therefore, she named him Judah (Yehudah)” (29:35). What has happened here? How does she do a total about-face and express gratitude rather than longing?

Leah has somehow found the courage to accept that her life is not going to turn out as she had hoped. Her disappointment is real and deep. But something inside of her shifts, and she is able to embrace the beauty and fullness of what she still has.

Simeon b. Yohai says that Leah was the first person in the history of the world who expressed gratitude to God (BT, Berakhot 7b). It is one thing to be grateful when everything is wonderful, but it is quite another to be grateful when life is complicated.