Jacob’s blessing of Menashe and Ephraim is the only story in Tanakh involving grandparents and grandchildren. It has much to teach us about how multiple generations can work together both to foster and overcome family patterns.

Joseph placed his sons carefully so Jacob could easily bless the oldest with his right hand and the younger with his left. Jacob, equally carefully, crossed his hands so that Ephraim, the younger, stayed to Jacob’s left and received the blessing with the right hand. Menashe, the older, stayed to the right and received the blessing with the left hand. In a truly multigenerational blessing, Jacob blessed Joseph through his sons, and blessed Ephraim and Menashe through Joseph.

The power of the scene is almost lost in the details of the stage directions. Jacob blessed his grandsons together – they received the same blessing, inheritance, legacy from their grandfather.  This is a sharp contrast to his father and grandfather who blessed their children separately and very differently.

Only after Jacob blessed his grandsons, Joseph tried to correct his father verbally and physically moving his hands. Jacob makes it clear his action is intentional.  I can picture Jacob giving Joseph a sidelong glance that says “Joseph, boychik, you, of all people are correcting me on how to bless oldest and youngest children. Really?”

Ephraim and Menashe received and gave the blessing of being blessed together, breaking the destructive cycle of favoritism in the family. Passing on the family legacy comes naturally to us. As we are blessed, we bless our children and following generations. This is a joy and privilege for grandparents.

Jacob, and his children and grandchildren teach us that overcoming a destructive pattern is not as natural. It requires a delicate and conscious choreography and the engagement of multiple generations.

This continues when Jacob blessed each of his children individually, but in the presence of the others. Only by working together, by using the unique qualities of each child, could they succeed together to become the nation of B’nai Yisrael.

Art Scroll characterizes this beautifully: 

“Far from breeding disunity, … their separate missions were to bring them together, because they were like the spokes of a wheel: Though the spokes point in different directions they are all part of the same wheel and essential to its function. So too, the tribes of Israel. Their roles would be different … but all would contribute their talents and accomplishments to the national mission of serving God…”

The next family narrative is Moses, Aaron and Miriam. Moses was the youngest child and the leader. The three siblings worked together throughout their lives to lead B’nai Yisrael to freedom and responsibility.

How will we wisely bless our children and grandchildren with continuity and with breaking continuity?

Naomi Bromberg Bar-Yam is a social worker and advocate in maternal and child health. She explores her work and life through Torah drashot, rituals and children’s stories.